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Post by Sleepy on Nov 21, 2007 16:58:34 GMT 1
Aynuk: Weerm yoe gooen?
Ayli: Ter the doctors. Ah doe like the look o' ma missus.
Aynok: I'll cumm with yer, ah ate the sight o' mine!
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Post by emseypop on Nov 21, 2007 17:15:27 GMT 1
knew what at all meant right away, I worked in walsal for 6 months a few years ago!
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Post by Sleepy on Nov 21, 2007 17:31:03 GMT 1
Phoebe: Now that we are engaged Aynuk I hope you will be giving me a ring.
Aynuk: Course ah will Pet, wos yer number?
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Post by Sleepy on Nov 21, 2007 17:32:38 GMT 1
Customer: Your dog seems to really enjoy watching you cut people's hair.
Trevor: Not Really. Occasionally I cut off a chunk of somebody's ear!
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Post by debidoos on Nov 21, 2007 17:39:58 GMT 1
Man walks into a Black Country Clothes shop and the assistant says "yam alriyt mayte? would yaw loyke a kipper tie?" to which the man replies "Naw, but i'llyave a kipper coffay"
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Post by mickthecactus on Nov 21, 2007 18:20:28 GMT 1
Are you all talking double dutch..... no...... well you might as well be. ;D Remember my comment on the picture caption about inbreeding in Birmingham...... |
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Post by Sleepy on Nov 21, 2007 18:33:44 GMT 1
Are you all talking double dutch..... no...... well you might as well be. ;D Remember my comment on the picture caption about inbreeding in Birmingham...... Oi! The thread is 'Black Country humour'. Birmingham is NOT in the Black Country! |
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Post by mickthecactus on Nov 22, 2007 12:02:17 GMT 1
Remember my comment on the picture caption about inbreeding in Birmingham...... Oi! The thread is 'Black Country humour'. Birmingham is NOT in the Black Country! Near enough..... (and you haven't got a football manager) |
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Post by Sleepy on Nov 22, 2007 12:09:04 GMT 1
Oi! The thread is 'Black Country humour'. Birmingham is NOT in the Black Country! Near enough..... (and you haven't got a football manager) That's like calling New Zealand near enough Australia Or Canada near enough the USA And I don't want a football manager! |
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Post by emseypop on Nov 22, 2007 12:35:54 GMT 1
yow tell 'em sleepy!
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Post by mickthecactus on Nov 22, 2007 12:53:19 GMT 1
Near enough..... (and you haven't got a football manager) That's like calling New Zealand near enough Australia Or Canada near enough the USA And I don't want a football manager! Oooohh (handbagraisedsmiley) |
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Post by Sleepy on Nov 22, 2007 13:08:30 GMT 1
That's like calling New Zealand near enough Australia Or Canada near enough the USA And I don't want a football manager! Oooohh (handbagraisedsmiley) ;D |
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Post by Sleepy on Nov 26, 2007 11:20:22 GMT 1
Ayli: Yoe cor keep a pig in the 'ouse - what about the smell?
Aynuk: Oh ah ay worrit about that, it'll 'ave ter get used to it.
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Post by Sleepy on Nov 26, 2007 12:09:19 GMT 1
Aynik: Is yar missus as pretty as ever?
Ayli: Ah 'er is, but it terks an hour longer each day.
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Post by Sweetleaf on Nov 26, 2007 12:59:48 GMT 1
Aynuk saw Ayli digging a hole in his garden.
"Where am yo goin' to put all that soil, Ayli ?" he asked.
"I'm goin' to dig another 'ole an' bury it." said Ayli.
"But wo yo 'ave some soil left over ?"
"I ay that saft," says Ayli, "I'm diggin' that 'ole deeper !"
Ayli was fishing in the canal, and caught a whale. His friend Aynuck asked him what he did with it. Ayli replied that he threw it back because it had no spokes in it.
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Post by Sleepy on Nov 26, 2007 13:07:24 GMT 1
Aynuk and Ayli had had an argument and hadn't spoken to each other for over a month. One day Aynuk see's Ayli walking towards him on the opposite side of the road and being the more Forgiving calls to him, is that yo Ayli, a voice comes back, no it ay, Aynuk say's well bugger yer then This ay me neither.
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Post by Sleepy on Nov 26, 2007 13:10:39 GMT 1
Aynuck always thought their Ayli was in need of a little ferther education so decided he would tek im to the big city, Bermingham.
Aynuck took him round the city explainin what building was what and the local history attached to them. Eventually they arrived at Victoria Suare and by this time Ayli's brain wus in a right spin, suddenly Ayli turned and saw the large building and said to Aynuck ‘is thet a palace our kid ‘, naa seys Aynuck, that’s the Council House. ****in hell ses Ayli I’ve got me name down for one of them.
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Post by Sleepy on Nov 26, 2007 13:11:38 GMT 1
White van man to pedestrian:
S'cuse me mate does yow now if there's a B & Q in Wolverhampton?
Pedestrian:
Sorry mate oi don't, but I nows theres 2 D's in Dudley
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Post by Sweetleaf on Nov 26, 2007 23:27:20 GMT 1
Aynuk,Ayli and their mate Marlene were witnesses to a robbery in Sedgley, so they were asked to go up to the police station to identify the suspect. The CID Sergeant said he would show them on the computer a photograph of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description.
After showing the photo to Marlene, he blanked the screen, then asked her how she would recognise the suspect. '' That's easy,'' she replied. ''He's only got one eye.''
The Officer was stunned. ''He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!''
He then repeated the procedure for Aynuk and again asked how he would recognise him.
''Yow con see it a mile off mate, he's only got one earole, aye he''
''What is the matter with you people?!? I've told you once it is a profile shot! You are seeing him from a side view!''
The Sergeant then finally came to our Ayli again repeating the procedure, and said, ''How would you recognise the suspect? Now think about it before you give me a stupid answer, like those pair''
After viewing the photo, Ayli thought for a minute, then said, ''The blokes wearing contact lenses.''
This took the Sergeant by surprise. He looked real hard at the picture and couldn't tell if the suspect had contact lenses or not. He checked the database and looked at the report on the suspect. Sure enough, when the photograph was taken, the suspect was wearing contact lenses!
He went back to Ayli and asked, ''How could you tell he was wearing contact lenses? Nobody else saw that!''
''Well,'' said Ayli,
"Yes" said the Sergeant in anticipation''
Well, he cor wear glasses with only one eye and one ear, con he?''
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